Who’s that Girl in the Photo?

Ever not recognised yourself?

I had a bit of a crazy moment on Saturday night. I was out with my training group for our Christmas Party (we might train hard – but we party harder!) It was a great night with lots of fun, a few drinks and crazy dance moves. But I did have a slight melt down internally regarding photos.

Photos are still really hard for me to deal with. I love taking Photos, I am part of a photography group, have an OK digital SLR and like to capture a shot or two… I don’t usually take photo’s of people, portraiture photograpghy is not really my thing.

But all that being said, I don’t like my photo being taken at the best of times. I am OK sometimes to pose with other people, but I really struggle with it…                                           I know that people love capturing moments at events, and I am not opposed to them in theory. But I don’t like photos of just me – at events or anytime; Even when I put them on here I am pushing myself to be honest and real. I hated photos of me when I was massive, and struggle now even though I am getting smaller. In some respects they are harder now –  as I don’t really “see” me in them yet.

Group photos are a little easier, If you give me a friend to stand with – that makes it a bit better! Sometimes I have  woken up (especially after night shift) and there are these images on Facebook, and I think “is that me? I don’t look like that” and  there is serious a “disconnect” moment;  So please don’t be offended if I untag myself, and I may ask you not to put images up or take photos of me.  It will take time (I think) to make my brain realise that I am the woman in these photos. But at the moment there is this disconnect and the only way I can deal with it is slowly and by trying to have some control.

All these crazy new brain wires need to somehow establish a new connection, make that connection strong and the new pathway will hopefully become easier to link the me in real life, with the image of me that is captured…  I just hope that I don’t short circuit in the mean time 🙂

Till next time – Lin xox

P.S – One day I will post a before photo and a now photo – it is a big step and one that I am still working up too!)

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4 thoughts on “Who’s that Girl in the Photo?

  1. I hear ya on hating photos. I’ve never been a big fan, even when I was really fit. I don’t think I will experience the same things you are going through though when I get my weight where it needs to be. I have only been overweight for about 6 years, so it’s actually the opposite for me. I can’t see myself as a fat person. I think it will be cool to enjoy looking at pics again, cause it’s been a long time since I have.

    Just take baby steps with the adjustment. It’s a massive transition and may take some time. You will eventually be comfortable with the new you, but you have to let yourself be happy too. The past is the past, today is a new day! I would love to see a before and after…….look forward to the day!

    Cheers
    Cam

    • Hey Cam, thanks for stopping by & thanks for sharing your struggles with photos, I think that they can be hard for a lot of people for different reasons. Good advice on enjoying one day at a time, and it being a new day…
      Cheers, Lin

  2. Its all such a massive adjustment, yes the body has changed but doesnt mean the mind is there yet, you will get there, take your time x

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