(Note: This blog was written over a few days and is about my tummy tuck and arm lift surgery)
I had dinner out tonight (Monday night 13th Feb) ate some lovely seafood and a few laughs with a friend – my last supper before surgery. Got home, packed my case for hospital, gave myself a pedicure with a lovely foot soak, tried to calm down. But it is now 3:30am and I still cant shut my mind down! It is the day of my surgery now, a day that I have been waiting for for many months. I have turned on the Macbook because sleep seems elusive, and my mind is racing. I turn it on to get all these niggling thoughts out of my head….
I had to stop writing above it wasn’t really helping – It is now 4:30am,(Tuesday 14th Feb) Writing usually helps me deal with stuff, but I just had a bit of a panic attack – this has only happened a few times in my life where the physical symptoms become unbearably palpable.
My heart started to race, constrict and I felt like I was about to have a heart attack… I knew almost straight away that it was a panic attack, my chest hurt, my back hurt – and a headache was brewing..I also knew that I needed to calm down; given I am about to go into surgery in less than 12 hours I can’t take a calmative or any type of pain killer. So I grabbed my heat pack, popped it in the microwave for 3 minutes and tried to walk and breathe through the pain. I used the heat pack over my back chest and head and heat then began to release the muscles. I then called my friend Janelle and she talked to me for a bit, reassuring me, helping me to breath and work through it… It all helps and I feel calmer now, just opened up the Macbook to type what happened – for some reason it feels important to get it all down… I have to stop all food and fluids at 7am. I am tired now – will have a quick sip of water and try to get a few hours sleep.
I wake at around 9:30am, shower, blow dry the hair, dress and change the bed (I love coming home to fresh sheets) Everything is packed, the day is here and my Mum picks me up to take me to the hospital.
We arrive at the hospital for my 12pm admission and I am taken through to the surgery waiting ward. Next the fashion stakes go up! I gown up in the lovely backless frock that hospitals specialize in, but I do get a nice terry toweling robe for modesty. I also get to wear lovely white compression stockings and a red colored hair net, I strategically (and to pass the time) place the hair net to one side to look like a raspberry beret, then spend the afternoon singing the Prince song to myself…
While I am supposed to go through for surgery at 2pm, I don’t end up going through until around 4:30pm – This doesn’t help with the nerves but I am so tired from lack of sleep I doze in and out, Mum does a good job of keeping me distracted, they come to take me to theatre and I say goodbye to mum. When I get to the holding area I am encouraged to hear some decent music coming from theatre. I joke about the music not being a fan of country music with House (my surgeon) while he marks out all the all the excess skin he is going to chop off a with a Sharpie. The anesthetist gives me some sleeping juice and the last thing I remember is moving onto the operating table….
I don’t remember much from that night – I remember my nurse explaining that I can just press the morphine pump for pain relief, and I vaguely remembered my house mate (who is a nurse at the same hospital) stopping by after her shift (she tells me the next day that I told her to go so she wouldn’t miss her train:) )
In the morning I am told by my nurse that I am not really using the pain pump that much, she asks if I am in pain- I am but don’t want to hit the button – We realize why I am reluctant because when I begin to use it more it makes me nauseated and I am promptly sick. Apparently Mr Morphine pump and I are not going to get along, despite really wanting a relationship him, he is too strong for me, overwhelming and just makes me sick rather than feel better (someone say toxic relationship 😦 ) The Nurses clear with Dr House for me to switch over to a few types of pain tablet and this concoction is much better…
Surprisingly I feel ok by Wednesday afternoon. House and a hospital physician tell me I am still losing a bit of blood through the drainage tubes that are coming out of my arms and stomach (gross right!) and everyone comments that I am a little pale, after blood tests this is discovered to be due to low Hemoglobin Levels. The Doctors tell me they plan to give me an iron infusion the next day… I have my mum and then later a friend visit Wednesday night – This makes me feel better, and I think that I am on the road to recovery… While I can’t really get out of bed by Wednesday night I feel quite good & I am hopeful that recovery will continue on this trajectory… Unfortunately things aren’t to pan out quite as smoothly as I would hope…But that will have to wait till the next blog post… Till then,