The “Boyfriend Cake” Flop

I haven’t posted this for tea and sympathy, It is more about being true and honest in this blog; and my journey. That being said, sometimes, some cakes, well they just don’t work out.

The ingredients you thought were there at the start, turned out to not be the true ingredients that you thought you were working with. Fortunately I realised this sooner than later. In my case the BF couldn’t keep up appearances or subterfuge any longer, the cake was cracking at the sides and had turned into a fruit cake – a fruit cake that was full of alcohol – bringing out a very different man to the guy I first met.

So after a few less than ideal conversations and being spoken to with anger and disrespect I ended it. He wanted to gloss over the issues and said I was stubborn, I said that being spoken to with contempt by seasoned drinker with anger issues was not something I was willing to compromise on, he could call that what he liked – but we would not be getting back together.

Saying goodbye wasn’t hard actually, I felt strong and know that I am worthy of more – Honestly the disappointment came in the form that he wasn’t the right guy and back to square one; but I do believe that I am happier single than in a bad relationship. So my focus is on continuing to live and love life, taking a break from dating and just enjoying every moment.

Testing all this stuff out has been tough, maybe tougher than losing the weight (mmm, maybe not) but I am proud that my self-esteem is strong, and that I continue to learn more about myself and relationships across all areas of my life. Being true to who I am is really the best feeling.

Have a great day, I know I will, ┬átill next time – Lin xox

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The Boyfriend Cake…

I haven’t posted in quite a while, sorry about that. There have been many many things going on with life and to be honest up until my tonsils came out 1 week ago, i really had limited energy and used every moment of it to just get by, sleeping enough to recuperate and go back to work for my next shift. Sounds a bit doldrum like – but it is the truth.

Something funny happened a few months ago. I was still (in a much slower capacity) dating and had met someone online that I thought I would give a chance at a real life date. So we met up… and it is still going well, almost 3 months in now and I would suppose that he has the title of boyfriend (BF seems like an odd term at my age) Honestly he has done pretty well at being around sick Lin for the last few months, and in recovery stage post surgery as well!

But navigating a relationship at this age and stage of my life is quite different to other stages of my life, and it is different again to dating. Whilst dating I had in my head that I wanted to be in a committed relationship, but the reality is different again to the expectations, and with that comes a lot of personal reflection and self assessment.

I am learning that a Relationship is essentially expectations of self and others, negotiating these expectations and understanding that time will impact on the trajectory of the “us” that springs forth.

I am a fairly forthright person and believe that truth in love and kindness is what is needed (with a good pinch of timing) but it is a bit like baking a cake, there is a recipe (proportion / ingredients) and a lot of mess that makes a good cake and time will tell if the cake is going to rise to the occasion. The same goes for us I suppose. It is fun, messy, tiring, exhilarating and yep the cake is still baking… But I will sit back and enjoy the process, and enjoy getting to know the me and the him in the “us”.

Till next time, Lin xox